It's a damn cold night....
Hari ini hujan... deras banget.. dingin.. Chris.. ngga tau apa yang terjadi sama dia disana.. Hari ini, prepare himself.. besok.. hidupnya totally berubah.. mungkin dia sendiri sekarang.. ngga ada siapa siapa yang temenin.. di malam yang dingin begini.. seandainya aja saat ini, jam ini, menit ini, detik ini gw bisa ada disampingnya.. hug him.. gw ingin.. tapi gw terlalu jauh.. cuma bisa disini dan berharap ngga terjadi apa-apa sama dia... No matter what happens.. gw akan selalu ada.. always.. whenever you need me...
But.. does he need me? sometimes.. I think.. he doesn't need me to survive.. *yes he is*... I know.. he always prefer to do his "introspection"... better than... *sigh* I don't blame him.. Maybe that's what he use to do whenever he has problems.. every problem... always.. I feel like crying this whole night.. Mom caught me crying this evening.. She asked me why... What can I say.. I must lie to her again... *sigh* I can't understand him.. May be I'm too egoist.. just thinking about my self.. I don't know.. I really wish he want to share his problems with me.. But.. I don't think so.. May be.. now.. his family support and his friends can make him feel better... Better than what I did.. *Yes it is*.. I never do anything to make him feel better.. I've tried to.. but I know it never works.. It will never works.. although he said he felt better.. I know.. I didn't make him feel any better... I'm childish... I'm selfish.. I'm egoist... Btw... nobody needs me... even my friends... my bestfriends... they don't even seem to be my bestfriends anymore.. *sigh*... I'm nobody... I'm nobody... I'm nobody...
